Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Naze?

Tired eyes closing
Cool evening surprises
Autumn coming soon

The Master and the Musician




A week or so ago it was the comforting sound of cicadas. Today it is the sound of rain on the bathroom skylight which is making me feel safe. Safe and wanting to drink tea, listen to soothing music and read a good book while cocooned in my favorite chair. We all know it is the simple pleasures which make life good. My toes are cold, it is good weather for sleeping.


Today I dared to venture in the a Christian book shop on a mission for some spiritual guidance. It dawned on me that instead of seeking out a book on prayer that I would be better of actually praying. Prayer is incredibly important to me.

A trap I seem to continually fall into is reading about other peoples experiences instead of taking action and experiencing it for myself. Am I kidding myself by thinking that by seeking out information on an activity I am undertaking the activity?
For example if I spent as much time playing guitar as I do reading about guitars, guitar players and all the other stuff that goes along with it then I would be a much better guitar player. What is preventing me of actually picking up the instrument?

Inspiration. Energy. Inertia. My hands feel tired. They don't have the same spark they used to. Is it because I am getting older? Or could it be my energies are being used elsewhere? It could be that I see no purpose for this activity. Has it done me any favours? It has. I would not have met Nicola again if I had not been playing music. I wouldn't have met Sarah either and hence not had Atticus and Noah. My life would have been very much the poorer with out it.


I am struggling with when do I say enough is enough. When do I leave what was once an all consuming passion, the foundation of my identity to sink in the sediment of my story?


The rub is I am still curious about the instrument. For instance I purchase a Phil Keaggy record today. He is a musician I have read a great deal about over the years yet not listened to any of his records. Today I did something about it and bought a copy of 'The Master and the Musician' and I got immense enjoyment from listing to the CD. And I got a new sense of perspective of my own guitar playing, the potential still untapped. I feel like I have the pieces of a model in front of me, the CD being picture on the front of the box and all that is needed is the time to put it together.


But to what end? Does there need to be an end? Can't it be for shear enjoyment of experience? Must their always be a material payoff? No.


Tonight I will pray. I will pray for others and I will pray for guidance. And may be God has shown me path I can follow.

Where it leads is only for God to know and for me to find out, tomorrow.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Because I missed you

I came back.

I didn't go far. Just far enough to miss you.

There is a woman behind me with vacuum cleaner on her back.

And now she is gone. I won't miss her, she was too noisy.

Top Gear tonight WOOO HOOO!

I'm back.

Followers

About Me

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I enjoy sharing strange and detailed thoughts with relative strangers on the internet as it creates a sense of strange intimacy while keeping at a sanitary distance from you.